‘Love Island’s Ekin-Su confuses lust and compatibility, but at least she knows what she wants’

In Lalalaletmeexplain’s hit column, readers now get to feel like they watching TV’s Love Island with her.

She’ll be using her knowledge to analyze the episodes so we can learn from the cast’s triumphs and mistakes.

With over 200k Instagram followers, Lala is the anonymous voice helping womankind through every bump in the road. An established sex, dating and relationship educator, she’s had her fair share of relationship drama and shares her wisdom on social media to a loyal army of followers.

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This week’s Love Island has been often dominated by Ekin-Su’s antics. It’s clear when she wants something that she certainly goes for it. She is up front and clear about her feelings. This is certainly not a bad thing. However, moving as fast as she does can be risky.

I think she feels lust and confuses it for compatibility. She told Jay he makes her feel giddy after 15 hours of knowing him.

Though in fairness to them all we mustn’t forget that this is a game, and they desperately need to remain coupled up to stay in it.

I think Ekin-Su was in the wrong in her argument with Davide. She was being dishonest and manipulative. She blamed him for his lack of effort whilst lying about the fact that she’d kissed Jay on the terrace, and stormed off to create the impression that Davide was at fault. He was overdramatic with his, ‘You don’t exist to me’ approach, but I understand why he felt hurt. I loved seeing Jacques offer physical affection to comfort him. Men need hugs too.

Ekin-Su blamed him Davide his lack of effort whilst lying about the fact that she’d kissed Jay on the terrace

I take my Love Island columnist job seriously and so watch the episodes with a pen and pad.

I began this week writing ‘Lovely start to the week for Dami and Amber – he’s open, solid and Amber knows where she stands’. That changed by the end of the week, as Dami was saying that Amber needed to meet him in the middle by being more affectionate, and Amber was telling him that she needed more reassurance from him.

I couldn’t really pinpoint why it changed, maybe it was the arrival of Jay and Remi. The timing of their arrival p****d me off – if Afia had still been there, she could have coupled with one of them. She was set up to fail when Jacques went in.

This reassurance thing seems to have been quite a dominant theme. Indiyah was still getting strong friendship but low romance vibes from Ikenna. She told Ikenna she needed more, he responded with such a typical f***boy reply: “You know how I feel about you anyway.” NO SHE DOESN’T IKENNA – that’s the point! However, he stepped up nicely the next day and made her breakfast. Davide followed suit and did the same for Ekin-Su. But when he didn’t bring her coffee the day after that she really felt it, she said: “It feels like a huge deal, it’s the little things, the reassurance.”

Dami and Amber's relationship has changed over the course of the week
Dami and Amber’s relationship has changed over the course of the week

As I watched all these ‘reassurance’ scenarios play-out it really reflected a lot of my dating experience back to me. All the guys seem to be saying the same thing privately to camera, basically: ‘I like her, but we’ve only been here for a week so I’m not going to be too emotionally invested, I need to let my feelings grow , but I definitely like her.’ Whereas the women are all like: ‘He needs to show and tell me his feelings explicitly because we aren’t exclusive, and we don’t have a label, so I have no idea where I stand and therefore, I need constant reassurance. ‘

The worst thing about all of this is that if the boys were intensely expressing their feelings the girls would probably get the ick, and the girl’s desperate need for reassurance drives the boys away. Free therapy for all humans is our only hope.

Someone who doesn’t need reassurance is Gemma. Luca has been keen and clingy with her since Jacques, her ex-boyfriend, walked in. He has shown a side to him this week that has been unpleasant. He was hostile with Andrew saying he should care about Tasha talking to Jacques. Andrew, who appears to be waving nothing but green flags, didn’t agree but Luca kept pushing the issue. He wanted Andrew to feel as insecure as he does.

He did the same when Gemma accidentally called him Jacques, which is easily done, especially when the person is sitting next to you. Luca was fuming and he felt particularly upset that it was rewarding for Jacques. He has constantly shown jealousy for the other men, his ego seems fragile, and it’s impacting how he treats Gemma.

Someone who doesn't need reassurance is Gemma
Someone who doesn’t need reassurance is Gemma

Ekin-Su advised Luca that he was being, “a bit full on at the minute, be the guy you were when you came in.” He then said in the beach hut, “That was great advice, but I don’t know if I’m going to take it. I’m not 12 and I don’t need to take advice from my parents.” Again, that’s his ego talking, and it’s not doing him any favours because Ekin-Su was right.

Perhaps she needs to follow her own advice because she is very full on too!

Jacques dated Gemma when she was sixteen and he was twenty. Last week we discussed the concerns around 19-year-old Gemma being paired with 27-year-old Davide. 20 and school age is just as bad, if not worse. I am concerned about this being seen as normal, especially on a show whose audience is predominantly teenagers.

I also feel concerned about the bizarre tasks like Menchanic where the girls voted for the sexiest boy, and Sex Sea, where the boys voted for the performing the sexiest girl based on their simulated sex acts. Some may think that’s equality, but society is not there yet. The boys aren’t at risk of being labeled s***s for their sexual antics but sadly the girls very much still are.

The boys aren't at risk of being labeled sluts for their sexual antics but sadly the girls very much still are
The boys aren’t at risk of being labeled s***s for their sexual antics but sadly the girls very much still are

Danica entered twerking out of a seashell, shaking everything up by choosing to couple up with Luca. I’m pretty sure Luca and Gemma will be back by the end of the week, it’s done nothing but strengthen them. For now, Dami and Indiyah are the ones to watch!

Red and Pink Flags Of The Week:

  • All the boys apart from one, took a drink for ‘Never have I ever done BDSM’ – none of these boys are BDSM masters. For a lot of young men, BDSM equals strangling, spitting, and being extremely rough with women in bed, which they often learn from porn. The rough sex they try to emulate is not BDSM, it’s violence.
  • Never have I ever ‘Fancied my partner’s Mum’ asked Jacques before taking a drink to indicate that he had. This felt like negging – a way to taunt Gemma.
  • Another pink flag example of negging came when Paige asked Jacques how he would describe her to his Mum and he said, ‘Can’t say you’re funny can I?’ Gemma described him as a lovable shit so I imagine that negging disguised as banter might be quite a regular thing from him.
  • Ekin-Su coming down from kissing Jay and rudely asking Davide ‘Where’s my food?’ She was trying to make him look bad in order to justify her bad behaviour.
  • The boys telling Ekin-Su that Davide kicking off is a sign he cares about her. A person kicking off is not a sign that they care. It might be a sign that they feel embarrassed, humiliated, and vulnerable.
  • Luca standing behind Gemma pulling her in and out like he was winding her. She told him to stop because she’s eating and he continued. It felt like he was exerting dominance in front of Jacques.
  • Gemma tells Luca “I don’t want to feel trapped and married off” Luca: “Why are we married off? Because two boys came in and didn’t give you any attention?” A subtle neg?

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